Hi friends, and thanks for stopping by to read Annual Report: The Non-Profit Called Me.
This is a follow up/annual report to my article called Surviving on a Shoestring: Life as a Personal Non-Profit.
Let’s just call it the Fiscal Year: Perpetual Survival Mode.
Letter from the Director
Dear Supporters,
Another year has passed here at The Non-Profit Called Me. Despite limited funding, high overhead (rent, groceries, vet bills), and an executive director who insists on working for snacks instead of salary, we’ve made it through.
Thanks to duct tape, caffeine, and the loyal contributions of our four-legged staff, the organization continues to operate against all odds.
Yours in frugality,
The Director (also janitor, accountant, and coffee procurement specialist)
Mission Statement
To remain operational on less than the cost of a small used car, while spreading humor, resilience, and the occasional thrift-store tip.
Board of Directors
- Chief Barketing Officer: Dog #1, specializing in announcing visitors and discouraging Canada Post.
- Director of Shed Fur Distribution: Dog #2, ensuring every outfit looks like it’s trimmed in authentic Labrador.
- Chief Neigh-gotiator: Horse #1, providing stress relief while consuming resources equivalent to a mid-sized yacht.
- Equine Wellness Officer: Horse #2, overseeing manure production and trail walk programming.
Key Accomplishments (This Year)
- Survived another winter with minimal heating costs, thanks to layering sweaters like lasagna.
- Extended the life of household appliances through creative swearing and duct tape.
- Successfully avoided buying new clothes by rotating through three thrifted “conference-ready” outfits.
- Launched the Couch Change Recovery Initiative, netting $4.35 in loose coins.
- Maintained daily operations despite chronic underfunding (translation: didn’t move back into my parents’ basement).
Strategic Plan for Next Year
- Revenue Growth: Finally learn what YouTube monetization means.
- Community Outreach: Partner with local thrift stores for first pick of 75% off racks.
- Infrastructure Investment: Replace coffee maker that leaks more than it brews.
- Staff Development: Enroll dogs in advanced tail-wagging workshops.
Programs and Services
- Free Counseling Sessions: Open ears for friends in crisis. Payment in muffins or hugs encouraged.
- Nutritional Research Program: Testing how many days one can eat lentils before mutiny.
- Emergency Housing Initiative: Airbnb for visiting spiders (uninvited, but persistent).
- Wellness Program: Daily walks led by canine staff, weather conditions irrelevant.
Fundraising & Donor Recognition
This year we gratefully acknowledge contributions from:
- A kind friend who bought me a coffee.
- The grocery store clerk who didn’t charge for a paper bag.
- The thrift store cashier who threw in an extra hanger “just because.”
- Couch cushions, for their unexpected but generous support.
Financial Report
- Revenue: Barely enough to cover bills and biscuits.
- Expenses: Rent, groceries, vet bills, hay, duct tape.
- Operating Surplus: Ha! Good one.
- Net Assets: One leaky coffee maker and a growing collection of mismatched socks.
Impact Metrics
- Cups of coffee consumed: 1,095
- Hours of free therapy provided by dogs: Infinite
- Hay bales purchased: Too many
- Overdraft explanations to bank: 6 (and counting)
- Times Revenue Canada said “you still owe us money”: Every year
Closing Remarks
At The Non-Profit Called Me, we remain committed to our mission of survival, laughter, and animal-assisted therapy on a shoestring budget. While profits may never roll in, dog hair and horse manure certainly do – and that’s its own form of abundance.
Thank you for your continued moral support. It’s the only kind we can afford.
The non-profit called me
Welcome to my life, where I run a non-profit called me!
I appreciate everyone stopping by and hope you enjoyed the parody of what it would be like if I really had board members and investors to send an annual report out to.
Yup, I run a non profit. It’s called me.
Published by Cheryl @ The Lifestyle Digs on March 12, 2026.
