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Internet dating sites are the go to for people who are searching for romance. They’re also the go to for scammers who are looking to swindle your money. Today’s post will be about lines romance scammers use.
So, gentlemen, even if you are legitimately seeking a romantic connection, if you are using any of the lines that romance scammers use, the word is out. Delete! Ignore! Block! Pay close attention to the lines romance scammers use and don’t make the mistake of getting confused with some guy sitting in an Internet café in Nigeria.
If you’re a woman – delete these useless posts. Don’t respond. Don’t encourage a romance scammer.
For further reading, see my post Spotting a Romance Scammer by their Online Dating Profile to identify scammers based on how they write their profiles on Internet dating sites.
This post is about the lines romance scammers use when they send out that first message to see if they can “hook” a mark. These scammers want to steal your heart and then your money.
- “Hello Pretty.” Or Beautiful, Sexy, Dear, My Love, Sweet Looking Woman, My Dearest, etc. Women might like compliments from men they know in person. Coming from an unknown guy on the Internet, it’s just creepy. Wait until you’ve known each other in person for awhile before complimenting a woman on her looks or using terms of endearment.
- “You have a nice smile.” Or pretty smile, or beautiful smile, etc. Unless someone has a physical deformity, most people look nice when they smile. A smile shows a person is friendly and approachable. Even if you think someone has a nice smile – don’t say it! Sure sign of a romantic scammer. Same as above. No compliments to someone you don’t know in person. Wait until you meet and then it might be OK to compliment a woman’s smile.
- “I must say…” Only romance scammers talk like that in letters of introduction. It usually goes something like “I must say, you have a pretty smile.” Or “I must say you have a great profile.” Who talks like that? Who says “I must say….?” Romance scammers!
- “Hello.” Or good morning. It’s not a bad opening, but when that’s the entire message… Most women would like to meet a man who can utter more than a word or two. If that’s how you like to start your letter of introduction, that’s fine. Then keep writing. And say something of substance. Women on Internet dating sites get tons of emails. And sometimes even quality emails. She’s not going to waste time on a man who has nothing to say.
- “I just signed up.” Who cares?
- “How long have you been on this dating site?” None of your business!
- They send a lengthy email that is clearly cut and paste and probably full of spelling and grammar errors.
- They want to move away from the dating site’s email system. First introduction letter they provide a phone number or email address and ask you to contact them that way.
- “I love you.” Or “I want to marry you”. Yup some fast movers out there in the world of romance scammers in their first contact.
- “I see we have many interests in common.” OK, so maybe you take a peek at his profile and notice you have NOTHING in common, that is if he even listed any of his interests.
- “I must confess …” usually followed by “you are cute and charming” or some other similar drivel. I must confess? Really? Who speaks like that? Romance scammers that’s who!
- “I’d like to chat with you, if you don’t mind.” I see a lot of “if you don’t mind” in intro messages. Again, if asking for further communication most people don’t say “if you don’t mind”. It’s not like someone says “I’d like to borrow your car, if you don’t mind.” People don’t talk that way.
And how does a woman know that she’s met a legitimate man and not a romance scammer using a line? Well, she probably doesn’t until they meet in person and spend more time together. When it comes to first communications on an email dating site, its very simple how a woman can tell whether or not that man’s a faker.
He hasn’t read her profile. Romantic scammers don’t waste their time reading profiles. They just hit the button to send an email and copy and paste their line.
If you’re a legitimate man seeking a romantic connection and want the woman to respond to you, ask her about something in her profile. If there’s a photo of a pet, ask her the name or the breed. And here it’s probably OK to compliment a woman’s pet, and say: that’s a really cute dog you have, what breed is it? Or you noticed she likes to hike, so ask her where her favourite hiking spot is.
And women, if the man asks you a question about something in your profile, he’s probably read it. That puts him ahead of at least 90% of the men who send you a message. Check out his profile and if he sounds interesting, send him a response.
It’s all as easy as reading her profile and writing an email to prove to her that you did read her profile. That’s the little thing that romance scammers won’t take the time to do.
Timing is everything! One last thing about these Nigerian and Eastern European scammers who set up profiles pretending to be in a location in Canada or America, they aren’t keeping in mind the time difference and send out messages during times when people living in that city would normally be sleeping. Online dating sites send out email notifications to inform the user they’ve received a message. Messages sent at 3 or 4 in the morning are a sure sign that a romance scammer in another country is sending them. If you are legitimately looking for romance, and if you have insomnia, stay off dating sites. Many dating sites also time stamp your visit, and the person who’s profile you’re viewing can see what time you stopped by. Early morning visitors send out the creep vibe.
What lines have romance scammers used on you?
More reading:
[…] be dealing with romantic scammers who want to steal your heart and your money. Read my article Lines Romance Scammers Use to see what opening lines they’re pitching you. Don’t continue a conversation with these jerks […]
[…] have probably been propositioned by a romance scammer. Check out my post on Lines Romance Scammers Use to make sure you don’t fall […]
I couldn’t resist adding this gem, recently received by some dude in England who is 57. Or more than likely only pretending to live in England. The daughter is probably fake too:
Hello you have definitely caught my interest as I am very impressed by what you wrote on your profiles I was in relationship a very long time ago. I met my daughter’s mother and though we were married,and thankfully, I got a wonderful daughter out of it. I have pretty much raised her all by myself because i lost my wife some year back, am very active and love sports. I try and walk regularly and have played most sports. I love basketball and watch it during the season. You can call me fanatical!! I am passionate, loving, caring, kind, honest, affectionate, feel that communication is very important. and want someone to bring out all my good qualities and have patience with the not so good stuff. I am not selfish minded by any means but do love to be spoiled and treated right. I think I deserve it. But in return, I give loyalty, love compassion, respect and total support to my partner. I have been used and hurt in the past — but that is the past. I try and do what I can to make people happy and will always put someone ahead of myself. I like myself and everyone around me and i can support myself and my daughter.I am not looking for a mother figure, nanny or whatever else but the love of my life, my friend, my companion, my lover my soul mate, and i will be happy to have your email or your Skype so i can write you or see each other as well
Yep. I’m British and that is not remotely English idiomatic speech. Some ‘year back’ is just poor grammar almost certainly by a non- native speaker for example. Also… basketball? I have never met a Brit who follows basketball and although they may exist the odds of them showing up on a dating site is low!
It also sounds like the men looking for soulmates have read that this is what women are looking for – it’s called “mirorring.”
Hi Rebecca. As you noticed, that’s not even remotely British idiom. We get clues by the sports men mention. Basketball is popular in America and Canada, the rest of the world not so much. Then there are the men pretending to be in Canada or America who love cricket. Come on guys. In this part of the world no one plays cricket! We love baseball instead.
Wats cricket, well idk about British or foriegn folks, but all these lines on here I happen to know real men say those words just saying.
Real men sitting in front of you saying those words is a lot different than a scammer hiding behind a computer who wants to steal your money and your heart!
Hallo my dear ! I have a question… I will be glad if you have a answer… unfortunately I have came on the scammers sites hier and now to you after that I have to late realized that ….and lost many money… I was to fool I know!! My question is what happens then ? This person have my address and fotos from me… there is danger for me personally? For the money I know that I will never get them but at least I don’t want to have more trouble! I thank you to listening me and hope for a quick answer so that I can have quite nights! My regards Bety
Hello Maria. I’m sorry to hear you got scammed. I suggest you go to the police and report it because it’s fraud and they’ll be better able to decide if you’re in any physical danger. I wouldn’t think so because the scammer is usually in another country and once he has the money he moves on to his next victim. He might use your photos and address for other scams he’s got running.
Thank you dear Rebecca for your rashly answer… till now I haven’t been to police because honestly I’m shamed to show them how foolish I was … but I think I will make that for my safety! Thanks once again and wish you a happy WE ! Maria Bety
Don’t see any different in words used by scammers and legitimate people, kindly let us know the words that is been use by real men or women on introduction
I am sorry! I have to correct about your name … dear Cheryl and not Rebecca! Regards Maria Bety
One thing I don’t get is they Live in US they are Italian and are on contract in Cape Town. And spelling mistakes like African vocabulary.
These scammers think they’re so smart probably because they can reel in the occasional victim. The rest of us choose to be more cautious, and anyone who uses a line a scammer is likely to use, should be immediately ignored. If a man lives in your city, or nearby, let’s say under 2 hours drive, there’s no reason why you can’t have a meet up within the first couple of weeks of messaging. Unless of course they’re really in Africa or Europe! Then they’ll have all kinds of excuses. Nothing is real until you meet.
I have been innodated with so many messages from scammers since I opened up my business Instagram account it’s disgusting. I have blocked so many accounts. They have used every last line you mentioned in the article. I don’t give details of my life. They’ve asked where I work, how many hours I work a week, what I make an hour, etc. There is no way I am going to tell them that. Everyone beware. These scammers full time jobs are to scam people.
Hi Carrie, I feel for you. That’s so annoying. You’re running a business and you don’t have time for people who are goofing off and distracting you from real customers. I had a fool contact me on Twitter pretending to be from Las Vegas and currently working at the McCurdo station in Antarctica. I checked his photo and it belonged to somebody in Europe but scammers were using it. I played with him for a bit, asked him the temperature today in Antarctica – and he told me in Celsius. An American is going to use Fahrenheit! These scammers work full time in real office buildings that operate 24 hours. When they have a “live one” they put the details on a cork board so the next guy on shift knows how to continue the scam if that person contacts them. Yeah, it’s just beware. If we can share our stories online, hopefully we can prevent someone from making a costly mistake.
I found this and it’s awesome!!
I wish I would have seen this sooner, as I have been scammed also. It’s amazing how those boneheads try to scam seniors. And because we live in the US they think we have money.
I got my self into a mess. Big time. I did send money, different times, and iPhone cards they say they need or want, and for their guys, on peace mission. Need money to help their kid for a doctor.
Well I said, you know, being in the military, they’ll pay for what you need I don’t have that kind of money. They want you to take out loans, bower etc.
this eve was one who said his name and has a son, in Gahana, as dad was in Iraqi on peace mission.
He was using a different first name for son, and even sent messages as his son. Something wasn’t right so I was looking on pintrist, and found him.
Oh I told him the same thing about military paying for his needs, he came back with this is a peace mission it’s different. I got him!!! I told him he’s a liar and and that’s not your name. He says, I didn’t know what I was talking about, I took a picture of his picture and sent it to him. And nothing. Think I got him. Blocked!!!! Thank you for listening, and being here, as I’m too trusting I’m goals.
Oh, Ellen, I’m sorry to hear that you got scammed. I’m not sure how much you got taken, but I hope you went to the police and the FBI. There’s not much they can do with scammers from other countries, but you never know. They might already be doing a sting on the guy who was messing with you, and you’re bringing them more evidence.
Fortunately, you did catch on. You’re right. The military covers the medical needs of their personnel and immediate family. I was chatting with someone else who said the scammer wanted her to buy an iPhone and send it to him. When she refused he got pretty angry, but all that contact happened on an online dating site, so she was able to block him and he couldn’t find her in the real world.
If anyone you don’t know in person asks for money, the answer should always be no. It doesn’t matter if they declare their love, nothing is real until you actually meet.
If they ask for money, tell them to go to their bank. They can also get cash from their own credit cards. I’m sure they’ll come up with all kinds of excuses that they’re out in the boonies where they can’t access their bank. Well, if they are online – they can access their bank!
Your best answer, unless you have a lot of money to throw away, is to just say “I am not a bank.” As you found out, when you tell them you don’t have that kind of money, they ask you to take out a loan.
Well – why can’t he take out a loan?
If you’re like me, you want to be in a relationship with someone who is financially responsible, not someone who is drowning in debt. I can’t help you if you need money (and neither should you!). At our age, we don’t need to be bailing out a financially irresponsible man.
Am no more ashamed and would share my story
Unfortunately I was scammed thousands of dollars in 2017 and found out when I contacted the Ghana Crime Unit at – info.ghanapolice at consultant dot com and was given full details of the scam and played along and was exact ,evidence and receipt of money transfer was sent to the Unit and they checked the bank and got the person arrested and justice was served.
They used look alike bank websites from hsbc and other official government sites..
Yes, these scammers are pretty tech savvy, but sometimes you can figure out it’s a fake document if you know what to look for – usually typos!
March 9th, 2020…. this year I have had a few males contact me via my Instagram account, which I only joined to show off my photography. So far I have had a guy who works for the United Nations in Pakistan, a guy who works for the UN in South Sudan, a guy who works in a shipyard in Canada,and a guy who works on the largest oil platform in the world. They all had children but no wives…. one lost his wife in a car accident, one due to childbirth, one due to cancer. They all used the oneliners that were mentioned here as well as using atrocious spelling and grammer use! The guy on the oil platform started asking me to send i – Tunes cards to his son in the USA…. I was out of there quick smart!!!
Hi Cath. Thanks for bringing that up. I’m not too active on Instagram but I get alerts every now and then that someone wants to send me a message. And same with Pinterest. I take a look and see it’s someone who’s not really doing anything on the site so I decline. If it was a really active member I might check them out. Someone who’s doing the bare minimum and using stock photos or stolen photos? Probably a scammer. But I hear you. You’re posting photos you’ve taken yourself to show them off. You want a few likes, a few people commenting on the photo and you’re getting the widowed weirdos with bad spelling and grammar who work on oil rigs or are contractors. Totaling screaming scammer! I’m glad you figured it out and didn’t scammed. It’s so annoying dealing with these time wasters.
I was scammed out of 6,000 in the last 5 months. What a fool I was in all ways and I feel sick being so stupid.
Cheryl, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s really tough to hear, especially when we don’t have any extra money to spare. And we always think it’ll never happen to us, that we’re too smart to get taken in by a scammer. But it can’t happen to anyone. And it can happen in subtle ways, like a request to buy pizza to paying the Uber because oops left the wallet at home.I hope you’re able to recover from this.
I got in love to a scam. I did not know thi kind of people exist.
He broke ck my heart. I loved him with frenesi.
He involve with his level words.
He said he was Polish and live in England
I Live in England. I am Mexican.
He said he had a job in Singapure
He asked money from me
What a desilution
I Was crazy of love
Icontinue Textin him, telling him off
He stand all my bad words to him.
He continue Beggin for finance assistance
Everyday my heart was bitting for him. I Felt he was living inside me.
All my nights like this.
I Think I was spelt by him.
My mind más block
We arwi many times because I did not send money to Singapure and I asked him a video call. He said his cámara does not work
I heard about scammers
I told him. He could be one of them
He denaid. I Though he loved me
I Have been craying a lot
I told him I Hated him
After 6 months.
He told me to block him
I said, you do it. He said not
I TOLD him off again, lovin him
After 10 days. He wrote
Good morning.
I think he dessapear. I answer him crayin telling him that I miss him.
He did not answer.
He said his name was
Felix Chris… Used to live in Manchester, Polish, widow. He lost her meter. He was alene, not children
It is a long history.
Thanks IDid not sent money
I am not silly in this matter
But my heart is still brocken.
I was unfatefull to my husband.
The curiosity destruyed my soul.
That’s certainly quite a story. If you suspect it’s a scammer just block and don’t respond to them. They have answers for everything and will keep trying, maybe even a few months of no contact.
I have been scammed thousands by a guy who says he’s on a oil rig in Ireland. He needs me to accept a box for him because no one is at his home in Atlanta. Stupid me fell for it and sent money to a “security company” . Wish there was action to take against him
Oh wow! I’m sorry to hear that. DO NOT send this scammer any more money! He’ll be back with another sob story. I didn’t even know Ireland had oil rigs! You can try reporting it to your local police, and the FBI does take complaints on cyber crimes. Whether or not they can do anything is another thing. https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx You could always contact the Dr Phil show. They frequently have shows about romance scams, but most of the guests have lost huge amounts of money, well into the 6 figures. Let’s be smart with our money ladies. Never send money to anyone you don’t know in person.
I met a guy on a dating app who wanted to straight to texting. Claimed to be in the military and a doctor. He gave me a specific base and everything. He said he wasn’t able to talk on the phone or video chat due to “security reasons.” This was my first experience on the dating app, so I didn’t think to read into it too much. His grammar was bad, but he also said he was born in Germany and moved to the US when he was 15 with his mom who was American. I had a lot of suspicions, even more so after I researched and read many articles on scams. I thought since he said he was a doctor that he couldn’t ask me for money.
After a month of texting (he was grooming me: even used m my faith in God), he said he needed to pay some property taxes in Texas for his deceased mother’s home. He said he didn’t have access to his bank accounts and needed someone in his same state to open a credit card for him.
I sent him a long text and blocked him. He messaged me from a different number insulting me. I was devastated, but relieved that his intentions became clear to me. He sent me picture of “himself” as a kid and everything. Be careful out there! These people are professional manipulators. They thrive off of people’s desire to connect.
Hi Bianca. Thanks for sharing your story! Yup scammers want to get you off the dating site asap. Military is a popular occupation for scammers who use the escuse they can’t video chat due to security reasons.
I’m glad you figured out you were being groomed. These scammers can be very patient and wait months before asking for money.
In this day and age of Internet banking people always can access their bank accounts. it should be easy for anyone to move money around, even with PayPal, might take a few days for the transfer to go through. Or people can apply for bank loans, line of credit, or take out a cash advance on a credit card.
A man should be able to scrape together a couple of thousands of dollars without too much trouble, even if it means borrowing from family or asking boss at work for an advance on pay. Any man who only has excuses why he can’t get enough money for anything – in this case to pay property taxes on deceased mother’s home – is not financially responsible and not someone we want to be wasting our time on. He’s a scammer on some level. Especially when it’s you he’s asking for money.
Glad to hear you figured it out and did the right thing by chewing him out and blocking him. Eventually he’ll stop wasting time insulting you and use his time towards finding another victim. I hope you reported him to the dating app you were using,
I went on Plenty of Fish and was immediately contacted by three of these scammers. I got out of two who within the week told me they loved me and one asked for ITunes card they all said they were in the army. I stayed talking to the third one as he did not ask for anything but had claimed he loved me by week three and then told me that they had an explosion and had lost all his belongings and wanted me to send him clothes. He sent a list. I googled his name Kelvin Lopez and found you guys. I started reading all these stories and decided to tell mine.
Hi Charlie. Thanks for stopping by with your story. I think most dating sites have a section called “new members” so a lot of scammers go fishing there! Ha ha. Couldn’t resist with Plenty of Fish!
At least you’re smart enough to figure out something wasn’t right. Fast ceclarations of love to a person you’ve never met? Scammer!
Lost all his belongings in an explosion? One can only hope that was someone Kelvin previously scammed! Send you clothes?! Usually it’s money for clothes. You could have sent him some dirty laundry COD that would’ve been fun. People can put a claim in to their insurance company, ask for assistance from a charity, or use their credit card to tide them over.
Scammers like to say they’re in the army or in a job overseas so they have a reason not to meet in person. I’ve had a couple contact me to say they’re in Mexico or wherever, and I shoot them back an email and tell them to contact me when they get back home and after they’ve quarantined for 2 weeks so we can meet in person. None of them ever respond. Shocker!
Hi girls I live in USA I was scammed for 36,000. By a scammer by the name of Lucas Redford has a daughter by the name of Stella
Anna, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s so much money to lose. Last week was catfish week on Dr Phil. I don’t normally watch the show but I caught the episodes online. A 75 year old woman lost about $200,000 and a 62 year old man around $25,000. You’re not alone. Those scammers are masters at their jobs. They guilt their marks if they can’t get money saying something like “I guess you don’t really love me.” Thank you for sharing.
I’m not on any dating sites, so when I was contacted by a “gentleman” I immediately did a reverse image search. Bingo! But y’know, my kids are grown, I live alone, and even though I’m still working, with the pandemic lockdown I’ve got a lot of free time on my hands, and I could use a new hobby. *I* know he’s a scammer. But *he* doesn’t know that I know. I’m curious to see how long I can string him along. It’s only been 2 1/2 months. But I hope he’s annoyed af when he finally realizes that he’s the one who’s been played!
I’ve also been contacted by scammers on Twitter and Instagram so they’ll show up anywhere. They’re likely not solo enterprise but work for a large organized crime and their team trolls social media for their victims. Yes, its kind of fun playing with these scammers but I get bored after awhile. You should come up with a sob story about how you need money.
I was contacted on fitbit by a person called steven martin asked me to talk to him on handouts he told me he was a orothopedic dr. His wife had died and he had a 6 yr old daughter. Also he had no living family. His profile was of dr andy baldwin which i saw on my search for romance scammer. He asked for i tune cards i had sent him about 500 pounds he says he needed it for internet access he kept asking for more but i started questioning him and i told him i knew he was lying. He kept contacting me. And eventually he told me who he really was and sent pics of himself hes a nigerian 30 yrs old but says hes an assistant to a dr in the UN. I know hes still lying hisreal name is bernard martin. Ive turned it around on him. He says hes in love with me etc. We have been texting everyday now for 3 months. Im gonna play him for a few more weeks and let him feel what its like to be used.
Hi Veronica. Thanks for sharing your story. There’s a YouTube channel called Catfished that I keep an eye on and they feature stories about people who’ve been scammed and are willing to share their stories. https://www.youtube.com/c/CatfishedOnline/featured
Way to go for figuring out you’re being scammed before you lost too much money. If a doctor can’t afford Internet access – that should raise some red flags!
Nothing is real until you meet in person. Never say money or gift cards or other presents to people you don’t know. It’s pretty hard to love someone until you’ve met, dated, spent time with, and gone on a road trip with!
Here is a strange one–a Mark Robert hit me up on facebook after 2 weeks he went to the UN to work has an 11 year old daughter gave me her birth date and his (minus the year) wanted to do a blood bond. shortly after arriving in the UN said equipment broke down needed money — stupid me sent it to him – request kept coming in done wire transfer here in the USA etc – out 41,000 most of the photo he sent me were stolen from a Ukaraine Journalist except two one of his daughter and one of his. He has alot of the features of the journalist but different eye color wears his hair differently his jawline is narrower etc. he has perfect english and is very intelligent…says he is coming home to spend the rest of his life with me by middle of March…not sure what I’m dealing with here….just praying he’s not a scammer
OMG Elizabeth! DO NOT SEND HIM ANY MORE MONEY!!! You are not a bank. Nothing is real until you meet in person. Never send money to someone you’ve never met. The small summary you’ve provided tells those of us looking in from the outside that you’re dealing with a scammer. Sometimes doing a reverse image search doesn’t come up with anything, but if you haven’t already done so, use Google reverse image search and Yandex image search.
https://www.google.com/imghp
https://yandex.com/images/search
Also see this website called Catfished https://socialcatfish.com/ They also run a YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/c/CatfishedOnline/featured Contact them for help and see if they’ll feature your story. Also Dr Phil! Check out his webpage and ask him for help figuring out if this is a scammer. The fact that you’re looking means something has made you suspicious. Especially since you’ve already tied in the photos stolen from a Ukraine journalist. You might be able to figure out that one with the daughter from using Yandex.
Let us know what happens!
So I read this article and some of the stuff they post as an “alert” I talk like this! I ask how long they have been on the dating site for, I’m usually the first to ask to leave the site because I won’t get notifications that I’ve received messages, I also say things like “I must confess” I am also not a scammer by any means.. trust me! It’s a little frustrating for me when I see things like this, when this is how I’ve spoken my entire life. I do watch for the grammar though, and the time stamps. That is awesome information.
Hey thanks for reading! I’m sure I’ve backed off continuing a dialogue with some men because I just wasn’t too sure if they were a scammer or not, so I erred on the side of caution. It’s hard enough finding a quality man without weeding through scammers who want to steal our hearts and then our money. I’d recommend leaving the “I must confess” off initial messaging contacts, and then if that’s the way you talk then chat like that later on. Don’t throw up too many red flags. You want to get past initial messaging to a phone call after a week or two, and then hopefully meet in person. I want to get off the dating site because I don’t want to be a perpetual pen pal.
Most romance scams follow the same recipe. The perpetrator will reach out to as many likely victims as possible through dating sites or social media channels like Facebook.
If the victim is female, the scammer will mostly be using the photos of good looking (but not model material), mature men and often claiming to be either military, businessmen that travel often, or missionary/doctor abroad. The aim is to portray someone successful and trustworthy.
If the victim is male, the scammer will take on the face of a younger, modelesque female. They will commonly highlight that they are caring and good house wives.
In most cases the scammer will very rapidly escalate the relationship, by quickly declaring that they have fallen in love with the victim. Sometimes, however, they are also running the scheme as a long con, where they build up the relationship over months before making the first grab for profit.
Once the scammer feels that they have the victim hooked they will start asking for money or favors. They will usually start out slow, applying the time-tested psychological foot-in-the-door technique. First they will ask for a smaller amount of money or a tiny favor and from there gradually ramp it up. The more the victim gives the less they want to believe that it is a scam, even when the requests and circumstances/excuses/stories become increasingly absurd.
It can take a long time before the victim admits to themselves that they have fallen for a scam and even then, there is very little chance of them recouping any monetary losses.
https://ethicalfundrecovery.com is a legitimate recovery company that is registered and they also provide their license ID to the public to show their legitimacy. They assist individuals and companies recoup their funds from fraudulent Investment platforms, ICO and Romance scams. As long as the fraud is done online.
Thanks for all the tips Stella!
All good advice. And these scammers also photoshop faces of good looking men onto bodies of other men participating in sports or traveling or even in the hospital to make their stories realistic.
Some of these scammers can be very patient and work on their victim for months, pledging their love, before asking for money. Other scammers are faster movers.
Usually scammers make the first contact, at least when it comes to contacting women. Every man who contacts me first I take a close look at their profile (widower, more than one photo, occupation) and do a reverse image search. If the profile doesn’t appear to be a scammer I’ll respond cautiously and ask questions that a local would know the answer to and often suggest meeting in person in a week and gauge their response.
It’s good to know there are companies that can try to recover funds the victim has been scammed out of.
Are there any free sites to do reversed photo imaging, also I don’t have a last name just the name on the Instagram, I tried Google nothing came up I don’t want to pay a fee for the search I don’t think I have enough info,
I think I am being scammed, I called him out on it, of course not its been 2 weeks he hasn’t asked for money just day dreams about us getting married???
Hi Debra. Sometimes people get engaged shortly after meeting – in person that is. Who remembers Danny Bonaduce marrying his wife a few hours after they met! And Pamela Anderson married Tommy Lee within a day or two. Neither of them are married anymore. But when you haven’t met in real life. Come on! Scammer!
If you did a reverse Google search and nothing came up, that might mean nothing more than the scammer is really good at photoshopping someone else’s photo onto a different backgroundl I find Yandex is really good at results https://yandex.com/images/search and sometimes https://tineye.com/
You need to schedule a video chat real fast. A scammer will have a million reasons why they can’t video chat.
Good luck with that!
Pimeye.com is the best one I have used.
That’s a pay site. Most of my readers are looking for ways to save money.
A man asked to be my friend on Facebook and I said “do I know you?”
He said not yet! Then he told me to go to hangout and put his email in and he could start chatting with me. Within about 2 weeks he told me he held it in long enough he had to tell me he is madly in love with me, he even new I was married with 2 kids and 4 grandchildren, so we talked some more, he then told me to send a 200.dollar iTunes card so his communication was still good, I sent $25. He said that was not enough, but we still talked for another 2 weeks, he asked again and said if I didn’t send it we wouldn’t chat anymore. I then sent another $200. He was very happy with that, so we continued to talk then he told me he needed $5000. To get home from Syria where he was stationed on a peace effort and then he would retire from the Army. He was a Major General so he said, u told him no and then he was gone, I did some research and he is from Kenya a professional football player single no kids makes great money
Kathy, that does seem weird. And sorry to hear you sent the scammer money. They take your gift cards and sell them on a site like cardcash.com and get 90¢ on the dollar. So he probably profited around $360 or so off your gift cards.
The army gets their staff home – at no charge to the person. Or their wives/girlfriends. At least Canada and America do – other countries I don’t know! But the US and Canadian armies do not strand their citizens in other countries if they quit or retire from active duty.
Hi I was scammed from meeting a man on Facebook went on for 18 months I live-in south Africa he lives in UK Liverpool?? Says is car salesman big scammed pics used are of a top business man in brazil called renato rainha2 this scammer uses name Henry Kroos daughter name Rachel he is clever be careful of him sure it’s a Nigerian behind him have opened police file as he has accomplices too
Hi Gayle. Thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry this happened to you. These scammers are only out to steal your heart and your money. And yes they work in teams. They have a “manual” they work off. I’m sure if you copy and paste into Google any poems or sweet nothings he sent you, that you’ll find them online because they are also plagiarists. Check out Social Catfish Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/c/CatfishedOnline and you might consider contacting them to share their story. Your money is probably gone but they can probably help you get closure.
Scammers usually pretend to be overseas for their job and that’s why they can’t come home to you. That and the numerous bad luck stories they come up with and need money to pay hospital bill, bail, lawyer, etc.
Also brings up a good point that scammers are trolling on social media, forums, gaming platforms, and many other places you wouldn’t suspect a romance scammer to be hiding.
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories- I just broke it off with a scammer claiming to be from Australia- he lingered on for a few months then the moment I asked him to pay me back the money he was loaned he disappeared. Fortunately my bank got it back for me. He also didn’t like it when I demanded that he send me copies of his divorce papers and absolute proof of his identity.
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories- I just broke it off with a scammer claiming to be from Australia- he lingered on for a few months then the moment I asked him to pay me back the money he was loaned he disappeared. Fortunately my bank got it back for me. He also didn’t like it when I demanded that he send me copies of his divorce papers and absolute proof of his identity.
I am texting with someone who is claiming to be an Orthopedic Surgeon in Yemen with the U.N. He claims he has a daughter who is fourteen. He did ask me for money but I told him I didn’t have any and I explained why. He claims that he understood. I confronted him about using someone else’s pictures and said that we should do a video chat. I don’t know what to think. He says he wants to meet me when he returns from Yemen in December. Is this guy a scammer? What should I be looking for?
Hi Cindy. This guy has just about every red flag out there for a scammer. Out of town so can’t meet in person. He’s asked you for money. Really? If a doctor who’s a high income earner can’t scrounge together a couple hundred bucks or a couple of thousand there’s something wrong with this picture. He probably told you his bank account is frozen. You’ve already confronted him about stealing someone else’s photos. You’ve already caught him out as a liar. If you meet a man online, after a week or two of messaging or phone calls, you should either meet in person or video chat. If the man doesn’t want to do either, he’s either wasting your time or he’s a scammer. He’ll have every excuse in the world why he can’t video chat – bad reception, old phone – but a well paid doctor is going to have good technology to correspond with patients or friends and family by phone. In many parts of the world doctors video chat and use Whatsapp to talk to patients. A doctor would be the last one giving excuses why they can’t video chat. You should block him and move along. Try watching some videos by Social Catfish or see their website to see how other women have been scammed by similar stories. Good luck in your future romantic endeavors. And way to go for not sending money!
I have been scammed before. I am talking with someone that has raised some red flags. Well I’m in love. I’m going to call it off. So I decided not to do a video call because I know these can be manipulated now. It is a celebrity. Well this individual decided to bargain a price cheaper than what it would of cost. I believe for sure now he/she is a scammer. I’m so disappointed. Is this another sign for sure they are a scammer?
Jeri, if someone else cares enough to point out red flags, listen to them. Ask yourself why a celebrity would reach out to you when they are in a position to meet people in person. Most celebrities have agents or managers. A Google search will help you find that information. You can phone or email and ask. You can also Google the celebrity and find our if they are in a relationship. Companies like Social Catfish and Trilogy Media can feature your story in a YouTube video. https://www.youtube.com/@TrilogyMedia. https://www.youtube.com/@CatfishedOnline You don’t need a perpetual pen pal who will always have an excuse for not video chatting – and yes they can be manipulated – or meeting in person. That should happen within a couple of weeks of meeting online. Good luck and don’t send money!
well there was a guy on facebook telling me got a contract with the governent in canada and he is from united states! he calls me baby majority of the time and my love and sometimes honey he was suppose tocome one day last week and said that he got on the plane from ottawa ontario to toronto ontario next thing you know i dont hear from him for four days and he says i didnt know how to explain it to you i was there in toronto and the cab driver was getting gas and he went in the grocery / convenient store and was robbed his cellphone his tablet and his $30,000 american money so he called his mom and got him a flight back to ottawa and explaines to me that his uncle was picking him up in ottawa by helicopter and he went bsck home in Ohio! then he said he wanted to meet my so and have my son work with him making $32 an hour work 8 hours a day and five days a week! i had to ask him to call me on audio however he said i wont ever get another chip for my ohone because he got hacked $63,000 so thats whybhe uses his cellphone without a chip and talks with his family on google chat on his fscebook it shows two girls as his nieces and one girl as his cousin! also on his orofile it states that he is divorced and then when i heard his voice over the audio on facebook he sounded spanish and he told me that this mom is sonish and his father is portuguese and he was born and raised in ohio united states….and deactivated his facebook and talk to me on google chat! he expects me to send him steam cards trying to tell me . that you can use steam cards for business matters as well and once he comes to visit me he will explain it to me about those cards work for business ! they are for gaming and gaming only….. i never sent steam cards to him he neevr asked me for my banking information he never asked me for my mailing address! he did say he loves me wants to purpose to me he said what would you say when i come to see you if i purpoaes to you i sisnt reply to that! he said for your birthday i want to take you to paris france then go visit his mom in ohio then go back to ottawa where his contract is with his workers! he told me he wants to meet my son and discuss with my son to work with him in ottawa!! he wqnts to meet my parents and other family members as well it sounds to me to good to be true! and when he comes here he wants to take me out on a date dinner and gocofr tea and coffee whnw he comes here as well and wants to buy a car for when he comes to be with me!
Hi Ann. Steam cards are a huge one that scammers try to get their victims to buy. Then they resell them online. And look at all the bad luck stories this guy is having – just like every other scammer out there! Between robbery and getting hacked he lost $100,000. That tells me there should be some police reports out there. Ask for them! Then follow up with the reporting police agency to find if that file number exists.
If you enter or leave Canada with over $10,000, you must fill out a customs declaration form. You’re allowed to come and go with over $10,000 – it just needs to be declared. Ask for a copy of the customs form where he declared he was bringing in $30,000.
It sounds like you’re in the Toronto area. Depending on where he is in Ohio, that’s a 5 hour drive or so. Suggest you drive to him. Get his address so you can Google it and see who really is there. Tell him you’re driving and ask where you should meet up. And see what kinds of excuses he comes up with. If he says he’s in Ottawa, again, about a 5 hour drive for you. Tell him you’re on the way just to see what he comes up with. Probably some bullshit about his company needs him to go to England or whatever country.
I’m sure he’d like to buy you a car. He probably told you he’d like to buy you a house too and asked you to start looking for one you can live in once you get married. He’s just stringing you along. You can reach out to Social Catfish and see if they can figure out this scammer’s real identity.
I’ve been chatting through IG with a man who says he’s a peacekeeper in Yemen. He has sent me several pics, and I’ve done several reverse image searches – none of them showed up. I also did an image search on Social Catfish – not in any database. I have spoken to him on an audio call several times. He did video call me once, but I missed it. He has asked me to help him pay his daughter’s school costs – she’s in Norway. He’s a widower with no family. I have yet to send him anything. I’m unsure what to believe at this point.
Hi Francesca. I don’t think there are any peacekeepers in Yemen at this time. What nationality is he? You can Google his country and peacekeeper in Yemen. If he’s Canadian or American the answer is no. Though he might try to tell you he’s on some top secret mission in Yemen that no one can know about.
It sounds like you have his phone number. You can put that in the Social Catfish database to find out if it comes back as a possible fraud number. Have you recorded any of the conversations with him?
It’s not your responsibility to pay for his daughter’s school costs. What single father would go to a country with a travel advisory not to go there? A responsible single father finds a home with a nearby school and finds a job to support them both. At some point men with responsibilities have to man up and do the right thing. Not abandon their kid at a school in a foreign country. Does Norway’s school system not have a summer break?
The big thing to remember is never give money to someone you have not met in person. Tell him to find another job if the peacekeeping thing can’t afford the lifestyle he wants him and his daughter to live.
Hi all,
I just dodge a bullet after speaking to a “Patrick” who contacted me on the dating site Hinge. He claimed to be a an engineer from Estonia on a 2 month contract in Oxfordshire (England). My first red flag is he couldn’t spell properly the county he lives in. I thought he might be dyslexic. After day 2 of texting, he sent me half naked photo of him pretending to do the chores. I didn’t even ask for any photo. He kept asking me for “selfie” on a daily basis claiming I looked beautiful and so on. I as careful to only send headshots all liking the same. His story was he had a 5 year old son being raised by his mum back in Estonia and claimed that he was Canadian from his mum (second red flag: if you are Canadian, what the hell are you doing living in Estonia?). I started being weary of him and decided to not share any personal info re: where I lived (set up on the profile that I lived in London when I didn’t).
On day 3 I tried ringing him and he didn’t pick, his number was Estonian (googled it), I was not worried about it especially if he only planned on staying in the U.K. for 2 months. Claimed he would stay on if he met the right woman.
Same lingo “Good morning Dear, have you eaten…I am worried about you?…” showing true care but it was too soon for me and I definitely felt he was a scammer. Opened up to my mum about it who told me I was paranoid and that I should trust him and so on. He claimed that he could drive to me and yet when I suggested a city half way through where he live, he was vague. Then, I called him at around 10pm on day 4 (he claimed he lived alone as he liked his privacy). He didn’t pick and didn’t call. I then decided to definitely trust my gut. I changed his name on phone as “Scammer”. I de she’s to watch how it would play out. On day 5, he actually called me and I felt his accent was either Nigerian or Ghanaian and definitely not Eastern European. I still played along and he actually kept asking me questions as if he genuinely wanted to know me. At that point, I felt that I might have gotten it wrong since he had not brought up any financial issues. He pushed it by saying that he told his mum about me and I was invited to go and visit (what! We never met and he is willing to take me back to meet his mum?). Day 6 with usual good morning poems and using terms like “Dear” and “Thank you kindly” which I felt could not have been Eastern European.
At that point, he had sent me around 5 photos of him which I decided to reverse search on Google and nothing came up. But still something in me was telling me it was not right. The nail in the coffin is when he video called me without me asking and his voice and the video was out of sync. I was so shocked and knew by then that he was a scammer. He quickly hang up pretending he had to finish work
I video called him back and he wouldn’t pick. I texted him and asked him to pick as i had something to tell him, he did and as soon his video came up, I asked him to touch his left ear. He hang up straight up and messaged to say that his supervisor just walked in to talk to him about a meeting they had to prepare and bla bla i deleted the few photos I sent him (thank God he didn’t save them at least I think as it deleted on his device and mine).
Go with your gut feeling. If your instinct is telling you it’s wrong, then it’s wrong. Insist on talking to them face to face. Also what helped me is that as soon as I started doubting, I started reading online about it and I have to say it helped a lot. I reported his profile on the dating site and he never contacted me after that. He knew his game was up. I felt I had a lucky escape because really it could have gone either way.
Thank you for all the hard work and testimony and I do hope mine will also help someone out there.
Hello Hot Tea. Thank you for leaving a comment and I hope your story will help others.
Good for you being cautious and listening to your gut. And catching him on the video being out of sync. That’s another common tactic scammers use. And they keep the video call very short for that reason. I loved how you asked him to touch his ear and then he hung and blamed his supervisor for walking in. LOL!
Sometimes these scammers will work on you for months before asking for money. The scam works best when they declare their love and have it reciprocated. Then if the victim doesn’t give money or enough money the scammer turns nasty.
Stay vigilant and stay informed. You’re doing a great job of not losing your money or your heart.
I just dodge a bullet after speaking to a “Patrick” who contacted me on the dating site Hinge. He claimed to be a an engineer from Estonia on a 2 month contract in Oxfordshire (England). My first red flag is he couldn’t spell properly the county he lives in. I thought he might be dyslexic. After day 2 of texting, he sent me half naked photo of him pretending to do the chores. I didn’t even ask for any photo. He kept asking me for “selfie” on a daily basis claiming I looked beautiful and so on. I as careful to only send headshots all liking the same. His story was he had a 5 year old son being raised by his mum back in Estonia and claimed that he was Canadian from his mum (second red flag: if you are Canadian, what the hell are you doing living in Estonia?). I started being weary of him and decided to not share any personal info re: where I lived (set up on the profile that I lived in London when I didn’t). We spoke for a total of 8 days where he was not asking for financial help but just trying to get to know me. His vocabulary and the different ways of writing alerted me. He professed his love within 3 days and he had the audacity to ask me to delete my profile on the dating site because he allegedly wanted me all to himself. I refused of course and said I wanted to meet him face to face since he won’t lived under 2h of me. He was happy with all of that.
Doubting about him, I did a reverse image google search on all the photos he sent me, they all came back with 0% which was puzzling. Nothing online told me he could be scammer but my instinct wouldn’t let go.
To my surprise, he actually called me on day 4 out of the blue and I instantly picked up on his West African accent (Nigeria or Ghana). But I didn’t call him out. I know what the Eastern European accent should sound like.
He spent day 5 to 8 with the regular good morning messages and poem copied off the internet. One of the poem was not appropriately used and he kept using the terms “Dear” and “Thank you kindly”. Apparently he was madly in love with me and wanted me to go with him to Estonia to meet his mum and son (fat chance!)
The nail in the coffin is that he initiated a video call that I had not asked for and as soon as he came up I knew it was a pre-recorded video because the speech was not in sync. I knew better not to ask him it was not in sync as he would have blamed his internet connection. He kept the call under 1mn and hang up. I called him back straight back and he would pick. I messaged him and asked him to pick my video call which he asked 2 mns for (probably looking through what video he could post). As soon as he came up, I asked him to touch his left ear for me. He hang up straight up. He knew his game was up. I then deleted the few headshots I sent him (deleted on his device and mine). I hope he hasn’t kept it so that he does not get to use my image and scan someone else.
I consider myself lucky as as soon as alarm bell started ringing, I started reading about it. The advice online readily helped. I can now see how people can be easily fooled. It was always touch and go for me. It’s because I chose to follow my instinct that I got away with it. People sharing their experiences will help and I am grateful of that. One more from me, if you are sending photos of WhatsApp, please choose the disappearing feature of it. As soon as anyone views the picture, it will erase itself. No chance of it being kept or stored.
Thank you Cheryl and I wanted to thank you for also the amazing help and support you do bring us all. I can completely empathise with anyone who have been scammed. I know I nearly fell for it. It’s just because he professed his love too quickly and it didn’t feel right that I suspected something was up.
Another update is I did confront him by text after I reported his profile on Hinge. I told him I felt him and his lot are horrible beings and I do hope they get what is coming their way. He didn’t seem to care but tried to convince me that he was not a scammer. He texted the next day and asked to speak to me and of course I didn’t respond to any of his message and after 1 day of trying to get my attention, he just gave up. I continued reading about it online and it turns out it’s also another tactic. Even if you express doubts, they still try to prove you wrong. What an idiot!
Hi Hot Tea. I’m very sympathetic to victims of all types of scammers but romance scammers are pretty much the worse. They destroy their victims financially and emotionally.
Yup, if something doesn’t feel right, listen to your guy. Some guy you meet online who falls in love real fast without having met in person. That doesn’t sound right to me but so many people fall for it.
Every scammer out there is going to deny being a scammer. Ha ha. Yeah, what’s he going to say. Aw, darn, you got me.
Unfortunately this is a scammer’s business and how he makes money. We have to help others not fall victim to these low lifers.
Hi mam I think I’m a victim of scam but I’m ashamed to show up bcoz of family dignity