Hi friends and welcome back to another Cowgirl Monday where I ask you – So You Want to Own a Horse?
Today’s episode is a funny look at cowgirl life.
The gravel crunched as Melissa’s little SUV rolled into the self-board stable parking lot.
Jess looked up from hauling hay and immediately noticed three things:
Melissa’s jeans were spotless.
Melissa’s hair looked freshly blown out.
And she was carrying one of those giant designer coffees with whipped foam and a lid complicated enough to require engineering school.
“Hey!” Melissa called brightly as she picked her way around a muddy puddle. “I’ve been thinking about getting a horse.”
Jess leaned against the fence rail.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. But I wanted a real horse owner’s opinion first.”
Jess glanced toward Duke, her giant bay gelding, who was already wandering over with the focused expression of someone looking for trouble.
“Well,” Jess said slowly, “you came to the right place.”
Melissa stepped closer to the fence.
Duke immediately reached over and dragged a long streak of slobber down the front of her clean sweater.
Melissa gasped.
“Oh my God!”
Jess nodded. “That’s just his welcome package.”
Trying to recover, Melissa reached into her oversized purse and pulled out a small bag tied with ribbon.
“I bought him organic apple treats from that fancy pet bakery downtown.”
Jess pressed her lips together.
Melissa offered one proudly.
Duke sniffed it once, looked disgusted, then ignored the treat completely and tried to eat the sleeve of her expensive jacket instead.
“HEY!”
Jess shrugged. “He prefers designer fabrics.”
Melissa jerked her arm back, stumbled sideways, and planted one spotless white sneaker directly into a fresh pile of manure.
The sound alone was expensive.
“Oh no. NO.”
Jess took another bite of her sandwich and watched quietly.
Melissa tried scraping her shoe in the gravel while Duke casually stepped sideways onto her toes with all twelve hundred pounds of his body weight.
Melissa made a sound normally heard in wildlife documentaries.
Jess nodded again.
“That one’s included free of charge.”
Melissa looked horrified now.
“So what exactly is the appeal here?”
Before Jess could answer, Duke smoothly grabbed the expensive coffee straight out of Melissa’s hand and dumped it upside down into the dirt.
Jess watched the latte disappear into the gravel.
“He likes oat milk.”
Melissa stared at the ruined drink. Then at the horse. Then at Jess.
“So basically,” she said slowly, “you pay thousands of dollars a year to be emotionally abused by livestock?”
Jess smiled.
“Exactly.”
At that exact moment, Duke sneezed hay directly down the front of Melissa’s shirt.
Melissa stood frozen.
Jess set down her sandwich and held out a hand.
“Alright,” she said. “Now give me your purse.”
“What?”
“Part of the horse owner experience.”
Still dazed, Melissa handed it over.
Jess opened the wallet, removed all the cash, handed back the empty purse, and nodded toward the parking lot.
“Perfect,” she said. “Now come back tomorrow and we’ll do it all over again.”
As Melissa drove away, Jess watched Duke licking the remains of the oat milk latte out of the gravel.
“See?” Jess said, scratching his neck.
“Worth every penny.”
Happy Cowgirl Monday!
Published by Cheryl @ The Lifestyle Digs on July 6, 2026.
