How Horses Ruined my Life

Howdy friends, and thanks for stopping by to read how horses ruined my life (and why I can’t live without them).

You know, some people spend their weekends brunching with friends, getting their nails done, or strolling through farmer’s markets with tiny dogs named Brutus.

I, however, spend my weekends knee-deep in mud, arguing with a 1,200-pound drama queen who thinks a plastic bag is a horse-eating monster.

Horses have absolutely ruined my life.

Let’s begin:

Horses have ruined my weekends

Remember sleeping in? Me neither. Horses don’t do weekends. While normal people hit snooze, I’m out feeding hay in my pajamas, hoping no one on the road can see my “just woke up and mildly feral” look.

Horses have ruined my hair

Forget salon blowouts. My hair smells like alfalfa and sadness. It’s permanently up in a “barn bun” held together by a mix of baling twine and desperation.

Click here if you need more ideas on what to do with baling twine.

Horses have ruined my nails

Manicures? Please. My nails are short, chipped, and permanently embedded with dirt. One time a spa technician asked me if I “worked with heavy machinery.” I said yes. His name is Whistler and he eats like a backhoe.

Horses have ruined my bank account

People say horses are a hobby. Those people are liars. Horses are a lifestyle supported by ramen noodles and emotional damage. I own a living, breathing money pit that requires shoes more expensive than mine.

Horses have ruined my sleep

Horses are the only animal that can make you get out of bed at 2 a.m. to “go check that weird noise on the barn cam.” Was it a ghost? A raccoon? Just my gelding trying to remove his blanket with the precision of a surgeon? I’ll never know.

Horses have ruined my social life

“Want to go out Friday night?”

“Sorry, I have to medicate a hoof, clean tack, and cry into my feed bill.”

Horses have ruined my vacation plans

Planning a getaway?

Ha ha.

First, you need to find a horse-sitter you trust, leave behind a 14-page manual on how to mix grain and how not to die, and then spend your whole trip checking for texts that say “Everything’s fine” but feel like lies.

What to do with your Horses when you go on Vacation

Horses have ruined my house

There’s hay in the laundry, horse hair on the couch, a hoof pick in the kitchen and saddle soap in the bathroom.

My spare bedroom is where I keep my saddles, bridles, and other horse equipment which means my home smells like Eau de Tack Room.

Martha Stewart would weep.

I wouldn’t trade horses for anything

But even still, as much chaos as horses bring, they also bring peace. Nothing soothes a soul like leaning into the warm neck of a creature who forgives your bad mood and listens without judgment – unless you’re late with dinner.

So yes, horses have ruined my life.

And I love them for it.

Happy Cowgirl Monday!

xoxo

Published by Cheryl @ The Lifestyle Digs on September 1, 2025.

More reading:

Bliss with Horses

39 Things You’ll Never Hear a Horsewoman Say!