Let’s look at this title again: 9 mistakes men make on online dating profiles.
Yikes! That sounds like a big list ragging on men who are looking for dates.
I’m going out on a limb here and saying there are women whose online dating profiles also make these mistakes.
I’ve been on a few online dating websites over the years, so I’ve looked at a lot of profiles and read messages men (?!) have sent me. I’ve seen profiles that are clearly written by scammers, married men, and just downright creepy guys. The content of both a man’s online dating profile and the messages he sends to me, I can tell pretty quickly if he’s legitimate, a scammer or just a creep. Whether or not he was intentionally trying to be creepy.
So let’s get to it.
When it comes to photos, I have several subcategories.
Let’s look at this as going into a candy shop or a donut shop. You look over the selection and choose the one that’s most appealing to you.
When it comes to online dating, it’s all about attracting someone’s attention so they click on the photo and read your profile. The photo is the first thing that’s going to attract a woman’s attention and get her to click your profile and read more about you.
Lead off with the best photo you have. We’d like to see a good, clear shot that makes you look like a nice guy we’d like to meet. Smile and look like you’re having fun.
Check out Mr. Happy below. If you choose a user name like that, make sure your photo lives up to your image. If you’re really Mr. Happy, I’d expect at least a smile!
Now, I ask you. Does Mr. Happy look like it?
Pictures, or lack thereof
Most online dating sites let members upload more than one photo. even freebie sites. If there’s no photo, we’re not going to click on the profile. When there’s only one photo, women are quick to judge it’s probably a scammer who couldn’t get ahold of any more photos.
weird or random photos
Why do men post photos that are quite clearly not them? Like birds, a tree, a rock, or a car. Why???!!! Are you married and worried someone might recognize you and tip off your wife? Or are you a scammer? You might like that vacation shot showing how blue the water around Aruba is, but make sure you’re in the picture too.
How do you like this photo on OurTime where the moron is using a photo of the Queen of England taken circa 1960?
Put a little more effort into your profile, Joe. Clearly that’s not you, nor any other 59 year old man.
Showing too much of your body
Don’t post any shirtless photos in your underwear. You might think you have 6 pack abs, but you’re probably wrong.
In a now deleted Twitter post, Geraldo revealed more than any of us wanted to see in a selfie titled “70 is the new 50”.
Here’s a clue for anyone who didn’t get the memo. You don’t get prettier as you get older.
If you’re at the beach, a photo in your board shorts is probably OK.
Unless you have the body to pull it off – no Speedos please!
I’m not body shaming here. I have dated and will continue to date nice men who are overweight. That’s not a dealbreaker for me and I’ll look at their profiles. If they look good, they’re presentable, and wearing suitable clothes for their size, I’ll send them a message. The memory of beer belly man popping out of his shirt is something I will never be able to unsee.
No photos that are better suited for your social media accounts
Some men have a lot of photos on their dating profile that would be be more appropriate for their social media accounts.
This includes group photos. No one wants to play where’s Waldo.You want us to pick you out of a crowd?
No photos with children or grandchildren. This is a dating website. Unless these kids are looking for dates, don’t post those photos. You don’t know what kind of perverts are out there looking for child photos and who could track those kids down by setting up a date with you.
No bathroom selfies
You just got done taking care of business and decided to take a mirror selfie that shows your toilet. Yeah, classy.
Photos with another woman
I don’t know why men post photos with another woman. It doesn’t matter if it’s the ex, sister, mother, daughter, coworker or whoever. Could be totally innocent but there’s no place for it on your dating profile.
When a woman sees a photo of you and another woman on your profile, she’s wondering if you’ve already found someone. The other possibility is that’s your ex who you’re not quite over yet. Or that’s your current who you’re planning to cheat on. Maybe you’re a couple looking for a threesome.
Also if there’s a photo with a woman who has her arm around you and you crop her out – guess what? We can see that hand growing out of your shoulder with long fingernails and nail polish. No matter how much you like that photo of yourself, don’t crop and put it on your dating profile.
2. Nothing written on the profile
There are some profiles that are blank or not much written. This shows us a lack of interest. Not putting much effort into online dating. This also includes the guy who says: “ask me anything you want to know” instead of taking the time to write a good profile.
You don’t have to be Shakespeare, but it would be nice to know what your hobbies are, if you have pets, if you have kids (and their ages), and places you’d like to travel to. Share a story. Show us you have a sense of humor.
3. Laundry list
There are laundry lists on men’s profiles that really annoy a lot of women and there’s tons of dating advice telling guys not to do this. Generally speaking, these men have a list of too many demands, sometimes what the man is looking for in a woman, but mostly the man has a huge list of things that he doesn’t want in a woman.
It’s like holy shit this guy is REALLY picky.
Who wants to date or be in a relationship with a man who’s going to pick, pick, pick, pick, pick. If he’s that picky on his online dating profile can you imagine what he’d be like in real life? Who can live up to the kind of perfection he wants? If he’s that demanding on a profile, again, what’s he going to be like in real life?
So, yeah, actually I do want to see that laundry list on his dating profile so I know for sure not to contact him!
Any man who says on his profile that he’s looking for a “drama-free” relationship is code to us women that he probably has lots of drama going on in his life
What about the man who says he’s financially secure and is looking for a financially secure woman. That tells us he’s a cheap ass!
Financially secure is subjective. Some people have $50,000 in the bank and think they’re financially secure. Other people have hundreds of thousands of dollars and don’t believe they’re financially secure.
I like to see that list of things men are looking for in a woman. It’s very helpful to know not to contact him.
Racist or not?
I need to add in a little subcategory to the list of men’s demands.
It’s when men specify they’re only looking for a woman of a certain race. I’ve seen it go both ways.
If I’m looking at the profile of a Caucasian man and he writes that he’s only attracted to Japanese women. I know not to waste my time contacting him. You can’t help who you’re attracted to. That’s not being picky, that’s just weeding out unsuitable women from contacting him.
On the flip side, if I see a man specifying he only wants to date women of the same race, it absolutely jumps into my mind that I’m probably dealing with a racist. I’ll definitely stay away from him.
Maybe that’s too harsh, and it’s just another case of you can’t help who you’re attracted to.
It’s only a date! It’s not marriage! So don’t write anything that suggests you’re racist.
I also see men write on their profiles asking Filipino women to stop contacting them. That’s likely more a case of being inundated with messages from the Philippines rather than a racist. There’s a lot of women in that country who want to marry an American or Canadian man who will buy them a plane ticket and be their meal ticket forever.
It’s better to leave the skin color of your prospective dates off the profile, no matter how discreetly (or not) it’s phrased.
Men who write on their online profile that sex is a hobby/interest tells women that sex is all you’re interested in.
This explains why women are fed up with online dating say the men they’re meeting are only interested in one thing.
Men who feel a need to write on their profile how much they love sex and foreplay are creepy.
Women are smart enough to know that as a relationship progresses, intimacy will be part of it. We don’t need any more proof that the main thing all men are looking for is sex. We pass on all profiles that shout out “creepy sex maniac here”!
5. Writing bitter things about women
It’s incredible how many men think their online dating profile is the place to vent about their ex, lack of responses on the dating site, and why women are just so horrible.
Paragraph after paragraph!
A quick scan and we move along. Nobody wants to date a man who’s negative to women.
6. Not reading the woman’s profile
Don’t stop at just saying “hi”. Prove that you have more than monosyllables in your vocabulary. Send a thoughtful message that shows you read her profile. Ask a question about her hobbies, her job, her pet, or something that caught your attention.
By the way, we can tell if you’re a spammer by the very obvious cut and paste messages you send. It also alerts us to the possibility of a rhyming word – scammer.
7. Terms of endearment
I’ve received countless messages that say “hello dear” or honey, darling, my queen, sweetie, lover, etc. Yuck. Creepy coming from a man I’ve never met. Make sure you’ve gone on at least a couple of dates before using sweetheart names. Probably only a scammer does that anyway.
8. Complimenting a woman on her looks
Don’t compliment a woman on her looks if you’ve never met in person.
You have a nice smile. Great boobs. You look hot.
That is really creepy.
Again, probably a scammer sent the message.
9. None of your business!
Don’t ask questions that are none of your business!
Have you ever been married before?
How long have you been on this site?
How much money do you make?
Probably a scammer.
Stick with the simple stuff that proves you read her profile, and ask questions about her hobbies.