The Lifestyle Digs

Lines Romance Scammers Use

Lines Romance Scammers Use

Internet dating sites are the go to for people who are searching for romance. They’re also the go to for scammers who are looking to swindle your money. Today’s post will be about lines romance scammers use.

So, gentlemen, even if you are legitimately seeking a romantic connection, if you are using any of the lines that romance scammers use, the word is out. Delete! Ignore! Block! Pay close attention to the lines romance scammers use and don’t make the mistake of getting confused with some guy sitting in an Internet café in Nigeria.

If you’re a woman – delete these useless posts. Don’t respond. Don’t encourage a romance scammer.

For further reading, see my post Spotting a Romance Scammer by their Online Dating Profile to identify scammers based on how they write their profiles on Internet dating sites.

This post is about the lines romance scammers use when they send out that first message to see if they can “hook” a mark. These scammers want to steal your heart and then your money.

  1. “Hello Pretty.” Or Beautiful, Sexy, Dear, My Love, Sweet Looking Woman, My Dearest, etc. Women might like compliments from men they know in person. Coming from an unknown guy on the Internet, it’s just creepy. Wait until you’ve known each other in person for awhile before complimenting a woman on her looks or using terms of endearment.
  2. “You have a nice smile.” Or pretty smile, or beautiful smile, etc. Unless someone has a physical deformity, most people look nice when they smile. A smile shows a person is friendly and approachable. Even if you think someone has a nice smile – don’t say it! Sure sign of a romantic scammer. Same as above. No compliments to someone you don’t know in person. Wait until you meet and then it might be OK to compliment a woman’s smile.
  3. “I must say…” Only romance scammers talk like that in letters of introduction. It usually goes something like “I must say, you have a pretty smile.” Or “I must say you have a great profile.” Who talks like that? Who says “I must say….?” Romance scammers!
  4. “Hello.” Or good morning. It’s not a bad opening, but when that’s the entire message… Most women would like to meet a man who can utter more than a word or two. If that’s how you like to start your letter of introduction, that’s fine. Then keep writing. And say something of substance. Women on Internet dating sites get tons of emails. And sometimes even quality emails. She’s not going to waste time on a man who has nothing to say.
  5. “I just signed up.” Who cares?
  6. “How long have you been on this dating site?” None of your business!
  7. They send a lengthy email that is clearly cut and paste and probably full of spelling and grammar errors.
  8. They want to move away from the dating site’s email system. First introduction letter they provide a phone number or email address and ask you to contact them that way.
  9. “I love you.” Or “I want to marry you”. Yup some fast movers out there in the world of romance scammers in their first contact.
  10. “I see we have many interests in common.” OK, so maybe you take a peek at his profile and notice you have NOTHING in common, that is if he even listed any of his interests.
  11. “I must confess …” usually followed by “you are cute and charming” or some other similar drivel. I must confess? Really? Who speaks like that? Romance scammers that’s who!
  12. “I’d like to chat with you, if you don’t mind.” I see a lot of “if you don’t mind” in intro messages. Again, if asking for further communication most people don’t say “if you don’t mind”. It’s not like someone says “I’d like to borrow your car, if you don’t mind.” People don’t talk that way.

And how does a woman know that she’s met a legitimate man and not a romance scammer using a line? Well, she probably doesn’t until they meet in person and spend more time together. When it comes to first communications on an email dating site, its very simple how a woman can tell whether or not that man’s a faker.

He hasn’t read her profile. Romantic scammers don’t waste their time reading profiles. They just hit the button to send an email and copy and paste their line.

If you’re a legitimate man seeking a romantic connection and want the woman to respond to you, ask her about something in her profile. If there’s a photo of a pet, ask her the name or the breed. And here it’s probably OK to compliment a woman’s pet, and say: that’s a really cute dog you have, what breed is it? Or you noticed she likes to hike, so ask her where her favourite hiking spot is.

And women, if the man asks you a question about something in your profile, he’s probably read it. That puts him ahead of at least 90% of the men who send you a message. Check out his profile and if he sounds interesting, send him a response.

It’s all as easy as reading her profile and writing an email to prove to her that you did read her profile. That’s the little thing that romance scammers won’t take the time to do.

Timing is everything! One last thing about these Nigerian and Eastern European scammers who set up profiles pretending to be in a location in Canada or America, they aren’t keeping in mind the time difference and send out messages during times when people living in that city would normally be sleeping. Online dating sites send out email notifications to inform the user they’ve  received a message. Messages sent at 3 or 4 in the morning are a sure sign that a romance scammer in another country is sending them. If you are legitimately looking for romance, and if you have insomnia, stay off dating sites. Many dating sites also time stamp your visit, and the person who’s profile you’re viewing can see what time you stopped by. Early morning visitors send out the creep vibe.

What lines have romance scammers used on you?

20 thoughts on “Lines Romance Scammers Use

  1. Pingback: 15 Stupid Money Mistakes - The Lifestyle Digs

  2. Pingback: Spot a Romance Scammer by their Online Dating Profile - The Lifestyle Digs

  3. Cheryl at The Lifestyle Digs Post author

    I couldn’t resist adding this gem, recently received by some dude in England who is 57. Or more than likely only pretending to live in England. The daughter is probably fake too:

    Hello you have definitely caught my interest as I am very impressed by what you wrote on your profiles I was in relationship a very long time ago. I met my daughter’s mother and though we were married,and thankfully, I got a wonderful daughter out of it. I have pretty much raised her all by myself because i lost my wife some year back, am very active and love sports. I try and walk regularly and have played most sports. I love basketball and watch it during the season. You can call me fanatical!! I am passionate, loving, caring, kind, honest, affectionate, feel that communication is very important. and want someone to bring out all my good qualities and have patience with the not so good stuff. I am not selfish minded by any means but do love to be spoiled and treated right. I think I deserve it. But in return, I give loyalty, love compassion, respect and total support to my partner. I have been used and hurt in the past — but that is the past. I try and do what I can to make people happy and will always put someone ahead of myself. I like myself and everyone around me and i can support myself and my daughter.I am not looking for a mother figure, nanny or whatever else but the love of my life, my friend, my companion, my lover my soul mate, and i will be happy to have your email or your Skype so i can write you or see each other as well

    1. Rebecca

      Yep. I’m British and that is not remotely English idiomatic speech. Some ‘year back’ is just poor grammar almost certainly by a non- native speaker for example. Also… basketball? I have never met a Brit who follows basketball and although they may exist the odds of them showing up on a dating site is low!

      It also sounds like the men looking for soulmates have read that this is what women are looking for – it’s called “mirorring.”

      1. Cheryl at The Lifestyle Digs Post author

        Hi Rebecca. As you noticed, that’s not even remotely British idiom. We get clues by the sports men mention. Basketball is popular in America and Canada, the rest of the world not so much. Then there are the men pretending to be in Canada or America who love cricket. Come on guys. In this part of the world no one plays cricket! We love baseball instead.

        1. Julia

          Wats cricket, well idk about British or foriegn folks, but all these lines on here I happen to know real men say those words just saying.

    2. Maria Bety Kouskousi

      Hallo my dear ! I have a question… I will be glad if you have a answer… unfortunately I have came on the scammers sites hier and now to you after that I have to late realized that ….and lost many money… I was to fool I know!! My question is what happens then ? This person have my address and fotos from me… there is danger for me personally? For the money I know that I will never get them but at least I don’t want to have more trouble! I thank you to listening me and hope for a quick answer so that I can have quite nights! My regards Bety

      1. Cheryl at The Lifestyle Digs Post author

        Hello Maria. I’m sorry to hear you got scammed. I suggest you go to the police and report it because it’s fraud and they’ll be better able to decide if you’re in any physical danger. I wouldn’t think so because the scammer is usually in another country and once he has the money he moves on to his next victim. He might use your photos and address for other scams he’s got running.

        1. Maria Bety Kouskousi

          Thank you dear Rebecca for your rashly answer… till now I haven’t been to police because honestly I’m shamed to show them how foolish I was … but I think I will make that for my safety! Thanks once again and wish you a happy WE ! Maria Bety

          1. Thomas

            Don’t see any different in words used by scammers and legitimate people, kindly let us know the words that is been use by real men or women on introduction

  4. Marietha Immelman

    One thing I don’t get is they Live in US they are Italian and are on contract in Cape Town. And spelling mistakes like African vocabulary.

    1. Cheryl at The Lifestyle Digs Post author

      These scammers think they’re so smart probably because they can reel in the occasional victim. The rest of us choose to be more cautious, and anyone who uses a line a scammer is likely to use, should be immediately ignored. If a man lives in your city, or nearby, let’s say under 2 hours drive, there’s no reason why you can’t have a meet up within the first couple of weeks of messaging. Unless of course they’re really in Africa or Europe! Then they’ll have all kinds of excuses. Nothing is real until you meet.

  5. Carrie

    I have been innodated with so many messages from scammers since I opened up my business Instagram account it’s disgusting. I have blocked so many accounts. They have used every last line you mentioned in the article. I don’t give details of my life. They’ve asked where I work, how many hours I work a week, what I make an hour, etc. There is no way I am going to tell them that. Everyone beware. These scammers full time jobs are to scam people.

    1. Cheryl at The Lifestyle Digs Post author

      Hi Carrie, I feel for you. That’s so annoying. You’re running a business and you don’t have time for people who are goofing off and distracting you from real customers. I had a fool contact me on Twitter pretending to be from Las Vegas and currently working at the McCurdo station in Antarctica. I checked his photo and it belonged to somebody in Europe but scammers were using it. I played with him for a bit, asked him the temperature today in Antarctica – and he told me in Celsius. An American is going to use Fahrenheit! These scammers work full time in real office buildings that operate 24 hours. When they have a “live one” they put the details on a cork board so the next guy on shift knows how to continue the scam if that person contacts them. Yeah, it’s just beware. If we can share our stories online, hopefully we can prevent someone from making a costly mistake.

  6. Ellen

    I found this and it’s awesome!!
    I wish I would have seen this sooner, as I have been scammed also. It’s amazing how those boneheads try to scam seniors. And because we live in the US they think we have money.
    I got my self into a mess. Big time. I did send money, different times, and iPhone cards they say they need or want, and for their guys, on peace mission. Need money to help their kid for a doctor.
    Well I said, you know, being in the military, they’ll pay for what you need I don’t have that kind of money. They want you to take out loans, bower etc.
    this eve was one who said his name and has a son, in Gahana, as dad was in Iraqi on peace mission.
    He was using a different first name for son, and even sent messages as his son. Something wasn’t right so I was looking on pintrist, and found him.
    Oh I told him the same thing about military paying for his needs, he came back with this is a peace mission it’s different. I got him!!! I told him he’s a liar and and that’s not your name. He says, I didn’t know what I was talking about, I took a picture of his picture and sent it to him. And nothing. Think I got him. Blocked!!!! Thank you for listening, and being here, as I’m too trusting I’m goals.

    1. Cheryl at The Lifestyle Digs Post author

      Oh, Ellen, I’m sorry to hear that you got scammed. I’m not sure how much you got taken, but I hope you went to the police and the FBI. There’s not much they can do with scammers from other countries, but you never know. They might already be doing a sting on the guy who was messing with you, and you’re bringing them more evidence.

      Fortunately, you did catch on. You’re right. The military covers the medical needs of their personnel and immediate family. I was chatting with someone else who said the scammer wanted her to buy an iPhone and send it to him. When she refused he got pretty angry, but all that contact happened on an online dating site, so she was able to block him and he couldn’t find her in the real world.

      If anyone you don’t know in person asks for money, the answer should always be no. It doesn’t matter if they declare their love, nothing is real until you actually meet.

      If they ask for money, tell them to go to their bank. They can also get cash from their own credit cards. I’m sure they’ll come up with all kinds of excuses that they’re out in the boonies where they can’t access their bank. Well, if they are online – they can access their bank!

      Your best answer, unless you have a lot of money to throw away, is to just say “I am not a bank.” As you found out, when you tell them you don’t have that kind of money, they ask you to take out a loan.

      Well – why can’t he take out a loan?

      If you’re like me, you want to be in a relationship with someone who is financially responsible, not someone who is drowning in debt. I can’t help you if you need money (and neither should you!). At our age, we don’t need to be bailing out a financially irresponsible man.

  7. Doug

    Am no more ashamed and would share my story
    Unfortunately I was scammed thousands of dollars in 2017 and found out when I contacted the Ghana Crime Unit at – info.ghanapolice at consultant dot com and was given full details of the scam and played along and was exact ,evidence and receipt of money transfer was sent to the Unit and they checked the bank and got the person arrested and justice was served.
    They used look alike bank websites from hsbc and other official government sites..

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